You’re getting there. You've started to see that Jerkface isn’t a normal person with a normal heart. It feels like their relationship with you is a game, a lie, a selfish arrangement. You wonder if they’ve lied to you just to keep you trapped in their web. And you may finally have had enough.
A healthy relationship is not a project. A relationship is something that gives you good things 90% of the time. A relationship adds to your life, instead of bringing you heartache or a lifetime of trying to change who you are, how you talk, or how you dress in the hopes that Jerkface will stop treating you badly.
When you're dealing with a narcissist, you need to set aside your common decency. You need to forget everything you've learned about being a decent human, including that people deserve to understand where you're coming from and that they need to be treated with kindness.
When I found myself in a toxic work situation last year, I was surprised and ashamed. How could I have let it happen? Why didn't I see the signs?
Most of the time I am a regular person with too much to do and too little time to do it and I forget that the way I feel now, the life I now live, was once a goal and a dream that seemed almost unattainable.